19 November 2008

Acting like life is a big commercial

I spend most of my day at work listening to Air America Radio. I'm listening to it now, even. I know it's liberal tripe radio but it's easy for me to listen while simultaneously working (or not working, as the case may be). I tend to go on talk radio kicks about once or twice a year where it's pretty much all I listen to. I listen to NPR on the way to work and Air America when I'm at work. It's obvious that I want my talk radio to be neither fair nor balanced. A friend of mine listens to right wing radio on his way to work because he enjoys being angry. How weird is that?

Anyway, as much as I enjoy some of Air America's programming (particularly Ron Kuby) I really wish their commercials weren't produced by drunk 12 year olds. I guess most of them aren't that bad but a lot of them are SO. DAMN. ANNOYING.

Seriously I think that guy up there ^ produced some of the commercials. I realize that I probably get too worked up over these commercials but JESUS. If I thought I could find the audio of some of them I would post it and ensure that no one ever read this blog again ever. A few descriptive examples:

The one where the guy says "We need more space and we need it NOW" in a whiny 3 year old pitching a fit kind of way. You can almost hear the guy lying on the ground and holding his breath while his says it. I've probably heard the commercial infinity times by now and I've literally blocked out the name of the company so as I will never ever ever bring them any business. Who the hell came up with this advertising campaign? Who the hell thinks that 'whiny' is a good descriptor for their company's advert? Obnoxious does not (I hope) deliver business.

The one for a weight loss product that was designed by "a woman medical doctor." I don't know why that descriptor bothers me so much but it gets my eye all twitchy when I hear it. If one of these women is responsible for whatever the hell product that is someone should tell her that she's a bad person.

The one where Thom Hartmann whores himself for some gold company. I already don't like Thom Hartmann because he's kind of a preachy asshole but when I hear him verbally fellating one of his advertisers every 20 minutes I lose respect for him.

One that really chaps my ass starts with some woman saying, "You want to know the difference between all the millionaire in this country and you? Well, they decided they wanted to be millionaires."...
Seriously? That's the fucking difference? WELL SHIT IF I HAD KNOWN THAT I WOULDN'T HAVE DECIDED I DIDN'T WANT TO BE A MILLIONAIRE ALL THOSE YEARS AGO. WHY DIDN'T MY GUIDANCE COUNSELOR TELL ME ABOUT THIS? THAT'S ALL IT TAKES, HUH? I swear some of these people should be held criminally liable for the shit they put on the radio.


Colleen said...

Air America has never been the same for me since they booted Morning Sedition with Marc Maron off their schedule. I LOVED that show!
It must be a tactic to have annoying commercials, because years later I still remember this annoying audio snippet from radio: "More Park sausages ma.... Pleeease?"

Apollo said...

I've only recently started listening to it. The Lionel Show is on from 8-11 AM CST and he's a pretty funny guy. Thom Hartmann comes on from 11-2 and that guy takes himself too seriously. Seriously! Ron Kuby is on from 2-5 and he's probably my fave.

I could probably start an entire blog about obnoxious commercials between the crap they put on the radio and what they air on television.