18 November 2008

That's just, like, your opinion, man

I am an admitted music snob. All of the music I listen to is totally better than your favorite band. Getting into an argument with me about music is, in many instances, a fool's errand. Not necessarily because I'm right but because I can't be wrong. That's just how it is. This annoys the hell out of my friends just like it annoys the hell out of me when I come across someone like me. I'm a lot better now than I used to be, though. Back when all I really listened to was punk I imagine I was insufferable. This whole thing probably stems from the fact that I used to listen solely to punk, by the way. It's a musical genre that basically requires you to be an elitist prick. Damn good music, though.

Of course I realize that in truth I'm not always right about music. Seeing as how tastes are entirely subjective it could be said that I'm never right. Contrary to popular opinion I'm okay with this fact. I'm not just some schmuck who likes an argument. I like discussing music with people because I love introducing people to new bands or genres and things like that. I would love to get a chance to talk to you about the music you listen to. If I could help you discover your New Favorite Band then I feel like I've done some good.

All that being said over the years I've noticed some specific trends in musical opinion. Four specific trends, to be exact. In my many nights spent talking about bands I've discovered that there are four musical arguments that are pervasive and divisive. They are as follows, in order of severity:

#4- Neil Young vs. Bob Dylan

#3- Aerosmith vs. Guns N' Roses

#2- Nirvana vs. Pearl Jam

#1- The Beatles vs. The Rolling Stones

Admittedly numbers two and one are more divisive than four and three but they all seem to create lines in the sand to some degree. Now while 90% of the time this simply comes down to preference* the arguments (and these are arguments, not discussions) always seem to revolve around things like influence or artistic credibility. It's ridiculous, really. For the record I enjoy the music of all of the bands and so do most of the people that I've talked to about them but everyone seems to enjoy the music of one a lot more than the other. If I were to count the number of hours I've spent arguing why The Rolling Stones are better than The Shitty Beatles I'd surely find that it rivals the number of hours I've spent shirking responsibility at work.

*I prefer the latter in every instance because they are soooooooo much better than the former and if you disagree you're an idiot and probably a bad person, to boot

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