16 February 2009

Bad medicine

The date went well. I went and picked her up and we went to get sushi. Nothing says first date like raw fish and sake! She told me all about her career and we laughed a lot and seemed to get on pretty well. Afterward we went to this bar in Birmingham that I'd been wanting to check out called Black Market Bar. It's owned by a guy that used to run a punk venue I went to a lot when I was a teenager. He also owns another bar in Birmingham called Speakeasy. Both are quality places. While we were at the bar she showed me pictures of her artwork. She spent a year in school to learn metal-working so she does a lot of cool sculpture work. We stayed at the bar drinking Guinness for a few hours and talked about all sorts of stuff. I took her home and we hung out at her place for a bit. It was kind of awkward there because I wasn't sure if she wanted me to make a move or not and I'm certainly not one to risk it. Especially when sober, which despite my best efforts I was. She's a pretty reserved and shy girl so that made reading her pretty difficult.

Before I left I told her I'd see her this coming weekend. I mean to, too. Here's the killer, though. I don't know that there's anything between us. Here's how I figure it: She's sweet, smart, sexy, likes Guinness, and knows how to weld. Those are all in my plus column for sure. There is one big thing in the minus column, though - she takes meds for some psychological issues. Not like Prozac for occasional bouts of depression, either. I don't think she's crazy but apparently she does and her doctors agree. I have a general distrust of the pharmaceutical industry and I think that this country as a whole is incredibly over-medicated, especially when it comes to psychological issues. The way I see it is that if you're going to take meds for something it'd better be a cure because otherwise you wind up with dependency issues. She feels like she can't live a normal life without her medications. When she told me that I couldn't help but wonder what type of person she was without the fog of medication, you know? I really want to like this girl for a whole bevvy of reasons, not the least of which I've already listed. So I intend to see her again this weekend and see if I can't gleam some sort of response from her that changes my mind.

Y'all I've seriously been beating myself up over this since I left her apartment that night. I feel like I'm being a judgemental dick. I don't honestly know what to think here. She's a great girl and I don't think I should let something like this dull my opinion of her so I'm not calling it in just yet.

In other news I think I'm getting a damn cold. Also, having to work on President's Day while everyone else in my office is on holiday leads to a wholy unproductive day.


Heather Rose said...

Yeah. I pretty much think the FDA are a bunch of Nazi scum, but that's my paranoid opinion. Anyone who considers it okay to genetically manipulate the produce I'm eating, without my permission, is on my list.

While I believe any sort of disorder/imbalance can be dealt with in other more healthy ways, I do know and love a few folks with some major depression/bipolar/psychotic tendencies. Without their meds(in the right doses) they are seriously not okay.

I believe it's a fine line, friend.

You're not bad for being cautious. I'm sure she wouldn't think so either.

Apollo said...

Ooh I'd like to talk to you about genetically modified foods because I can't figure out why it's a big deal. I don't care if my food has been modified as long as it's held to the same standards as the other food I've been eating.

Do you think that your friends with serious disorders are permanently broken or is there a fix to their conditions? I tend to think that there are fixes that don't require a lifetime of daily pills and personality alteration.

Thanks for the reassurance, Heather. It's always nice to hear. You're right about the fine line thing and I think this will be tough either way.

Sarah said...

Nobody takes the occasional Prozac. It's not like Advil. You don't wake up in the morning and go, "I'm feeling a little blue..." and then pop one for relief in 20 minutes that lasts 4-6 hours. It's a serious drug prescribed for a serious disease and in many cases, it cures that disease. If it doesn't "cure" it, then it at least puts it into such remission that individuals can live normal, productive lives.

Trying to treat genuine mental illness without drug therapy is like treating a broken elbow by sucking it up. Over time you may learn to live with it, but you'll certainly never be able to use it as well ever again.

That doesn't mitigate the fact that many people are overmedicated, as you say. But some people do need meds to have the best lives they can have. So they choose to work with their doctors to find medications that work for them and help them lead the lives they want to lead.

She was being forthright with you about her illness and the medication she takes to deal with it. If that's a deal breaker for you, it'd probably be a good idea to be just as forthright with her.

As for your cold, go get some Zicam. You can eat it or shove it up your nose. If you eat it, it tastes like sunscreen (mmmm, zinc!) but it nips the cold in the bud!

Heather Rose said...

Well, see I'm a vegetarian. So, when you start putting animal genes into my fruits and veggies I get spazzy. Seriously, cod fish genes in my tomatoes?! Oh, no you just di'n't. ^_^

While I think chemical imbalances are pretty permanent, I'm also a firm believer in prayer, fresh air and a healthy diet. They're good for mending anything.

I hope it's nothing too serious, but I know you'll learn to function with/around it, if it's love. Most of my afore mentioned friends(and one of them actually sees and hears things that aren't there-which SO used to scare me) have pretty steady routines that work for them, and they are all in loving relationships. It's not always easy, but what relationship is, right?

Apollo said...

Sarah- I never meant to imply that depression and other mental disorders weren't serious. If it sounded that way I'm sorry. I just can't imagine having to live with that kind of dependency and my distrust of the pharmaceutical industry leads me to think that a lot of it is unnecessary. I'm sure you're right about all of this.

Heather- I never considered the animal genes in the food thing. I can see how that's a bit sketchy. If they ever make broccoli that tastes like bacon, though, I'll live a much healthier life style.